There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
