I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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