at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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