Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
