I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize