He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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