Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
