How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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