My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
