Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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