Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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