Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
