Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
why didn't you poke me back
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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