Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
