i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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