Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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