I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
