cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
