just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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