The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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