You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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