i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
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