Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize