So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
