Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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