You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize
