the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
