There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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