the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
