i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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