Tell her she can't have a vagina
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
