this beer tastes like vomit already
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
