did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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