no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
