What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
