I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
