booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
