you would pick up someone in the library
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
