Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
