I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
