I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
