her vagine was all disorganized.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
