i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
