She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
