Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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