so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
