Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
