i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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