not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
