bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I think your dad took our porno
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize