Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
