if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
