Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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