Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
