i just google imaged poop.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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