Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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