I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
