arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
