Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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