I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
She's JV to your varsity
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
