Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
